I never forget how lucky I am to have these three in my life. what am I talking about? They ARE my life! Today we hit up a children's museum, played at the park and grabbed a little lunch.

They are wild about daddy. And you know what? I am too! Hope you had a great Saturday pretty people!


Not sure how to say this- I'm seldom at a loss for words. I am thankful for many many things. There are the obvious things; family, friends, roof over our head- best husband and kids ever... What I'm thankful for most this year is that we took a leap of faith. I quit my job in September and as October 1st I've been a stay-at-home mom. It's been the best (and most exhausting!) decision I've ever made. I'm thankful that HH brings home the bacon. I fry it up in the pan. It only burns occasionally. Happy Thanksgiving pretty people!

Photo by SCPhotography


Yesterday's post was all about treats for your family. In today's post I'm giving you ideas how to help other families. What better way to help than to shop for a cause?

Have you heard about Chloe + Isabel? I hadn't until I noticed my friend Jennifer was wearing REALLY super pretty jewelry in her pictures. And then I saw the name creep up in InStyle magazine. Then I complimented a girl on her necklace and it was Chloe + Isabel.. Then I won one of Jennifer's Facebook contests and she sent me THE most beautiful fox earrings I've ever seen. I get so many compliments- I've started counting. I'm at 9 so far. (Not countin the first two or three when I decided to start counting- I'm certainly not a mathematician y'all!) any-who, Jennifer has set up a special promotion for MommyOhhhh fans. She will donate 10% of the sales to the charity of our choice. I'm thinking St. Jude. My heart breaks every time I think about sick babies. Our special MommyOhhhh link is

http://www.chloeandisabel.com/boutique/stylewithjennifer/a4ce6b She has a ton of great looking stuff under $50. Free shipping when you spend $100- so if you need to round up get yourself something pretty! Or heck, get me something pretty! I will attach pictures to show you what I want.

Fox earrings that I looooove

This next product is not just AMAZING but uhhhh-mazing! It's a Runningluv™. When I heard about it BIG had just broken his femur (another post y'all!) and the only time he smiled was on our morning walks. But there was a problem. {Besides the obvious} June/July in Mississippi y'all! 90 degrees by 9am. And I'm a sweater. Big time.

Carrying a towel was just so awkward and cumbersome. I was trying to run (I use that term loosely!) while pushing nearly 70lbs (kid + double stroller + partial body cast!) up hills and around corners and it was just too much. I tried Runningluv- (think micro-soft hand towel that you wear on your wrist to squeegee away sweat) and loved it. While if certainly didn't make our walks/runs easier- it helped me keep the sweat out of my eyes so I could focus on keeping that smile on BIG's sweet face. Prices range from $6-12. Right now there is free shipping on purchases over $10. Ooooorrrrrrrr... If you donate $10 to Danielle's St Jude fundraising campaign she will send you a free Runningluv. You will not be sorry.


Check out Runningluv.com for all the product details. I know several of you that need this product. Christy. Annette. Josh. Carrie. Messica. Ryan&Marcy (get two geesh- don't cheap out!)

Just think: If you buy the crystal Brûlée stretch bracelet and a Runningluv™ your arms will not only be sparkly and sweat free but you will be helping a sick child.

Here are some ideas for family treats. 

Three words: Chocolate.  Hazelnut.  Cigar. Probably not the most PC thing to put on a family treat post- but YUM-O!  Maybe save it for New Years eve after you put the munchkins to bed but before you start your "I'm going to eat well" resolution.  $9. 

We LOVE the loveless cafe.  You may have seen it featured on the food network - that doesn't even do it justice.  I am not a jam or a jelly person.  HH MADE me try this when we were there.  I would have licked the container clean if we weren't in public.  They ship.  But if you are within a 44 hour radius of Nashville- go there.  Soon.  We will meet you there.  $10http://store.lovelesscafe.com/product/blackberry_preserves/biscuits-preserves

How STINKIN' cute are these?  Can't you just see putting them out for a NYE party?  They are in the December issue of cosmo but when you go to the website onepreppycookieblogspot.com you can see all the super adorable cookies she's made.  I am in love with her monogram stuff and the barn yard cookies.  Super cute.  

Tiffany playing cards.  These are a little bit luxury for only $30. My sister (who will remain nameless) and dad have an on-going game of Gin Rummy that has been going on for at least 10 years.  They play a penny a point and while my dad keeps score (he also cheats) I doubt these two will ever pay up.  This would also be a pretty way to play 52 card pick up- since there is always that one uncle who loves that game.  Or in my case- my dad.  Sorry Monica- don't fall for it!  

This is one of the best traditions that my mama started when I was a wee little tot.  Matching pajamas.  I'm glad this trend is popular now because there were years where she searched high and low to find matching sets.  

But let's be honest- none of this stuff matters if you aren't spending the holidays with friends and family you love. Hope you get to see all of your pretty people in the upcoming weeks. I know I am! Maybe even in matching jammies.  xoxo

I don't know about you but I think it's so hard to shop for men.  At least for the men in my life.  They don't seem to want/need much.  When they do- they seem to get it themselves.  But as of today you have 1 month until Christmas!  Only 2 days until Chanukah 

Here are a few cool things that I may or may not be buying for my special guys.  Wooden watch.  The line is called watch wood. You can find it online or at Neiman Marcus for $120.00 I think it just looks so cool and masculine.  HH would be ultra foxy in this. 

 The men's valet dish for the keys and change is over done.  So it the remote control caddy, and even the watch holder.  But how neat is this? I LOVE this wooden glasses/sunglass holder.  $49.00 from redenvelope.com.   If your favorite guy wears glasses/sunglasses- this is a cool way to store them and keep them safe.  (Unless you have a child like LITTLE who like to pulllllll the arms- then, you need to hide your glasses above 3 feet)  Red envelope has all kinds of cool stuff- a few other things I love there are:YODA CUFF LINKS $150, and the leather travel case $129.

Ladies, do y'all know about collar stays?  I did not until I met HH.  He wears them religiously and faithfully.  There are a ton of cute ones out there.  This set is $40 from http://supermarkethq.com/product/customized-metal-stamped-gold-plated-collar-stays.  I love that they say I love you.  Who doesn't need a little reminder of that?  Especially if you are dressing up.  Would also be a great gift for a dad on your wedding day.  {{Thinking about you little miss Becca}}

HH has really great taste in glasses.    But I know he wouldn't wear these.  But maybe one of your men-folk will.  They are GOLD!  GUCCI!  GLASSES! {{I know you would rock these out Royce!!!}}} $295 http://www.sunglasshut.com/us/762753843999 
Plus you can put them in your new sunglass holder!  

When HH brought this magazine home from the store (not on the list!) I was a bit surprised.  It doesn't seem like his normal thing.  OMG!  What a great magazine!  Think southern living for men ladies.  To my northern fans- you might not get it - but you should because it's AWESOME!  Ever want to know where to get the best biscuits in Birmingham- this magazine will tell you.  What about where to hear the best music in the delta- great reference tool.  Don't let the name fool you- it's AWESOME!  $19 for a year. 

If your man is a foodie- he will LOVE THIS!  And since I love cheese I may just get this for HH.  $115 at uncommongoods.com.  Amazon has cheaper and smaller kits- but this one looked so amazing.  

Now I haven't shown you what I'm really getting him- he reads the blog Y'all!  But let me know if you want to know- it's a goodie.

Good luck pretty people and let me know what YOU are getting your guy.

Ok pretty people, one month and 1 day until Christmas!  Have you started shopping?  Are you done?  It's crunch time for those of you that celebrate Hanukkah - that starts in 3 days.  THREE days people!  What are you doing reading my blog if you aren't done shopping??? Luckily for you some of these gift ideas can be shipped overnight.  {{Exhale}} Here I go.  Know that I'm no gift giving expert- or child toy psychologist- just a mama that is telling you what my little guys have loved this year.  

My BFF gave me the book Peek-a-WHO?  when BIG was just a little guy.  He LOVED it!  Little loves it so much that he ate it.  This book is fantastic- BUY it!  Read it.  Go see the movie when it comes out. $7ish.

Both boys love this.  You may regret buying it for your own kids because they will run over your feet with them.  HH had a truck induced injury from it last night. BUT if you want to give it to someone else who has kids- GREAT idea.  The kids love it! $20ish


HH picked this out and I wasn't all that impressed.  Until we got it home and opened the packge. BIG is BONKERS about this laser peg set.  It's battery operated and it flashes colors and you can build a tower. You can spell worlds and say the alphabet.  All good fun. It's exclusive at target for about $20.  I saw it on sale last week but it's not showing up on the web site.  There are other styles- a butterfly kit, a construction kit.  Prices range from $15-60. 

Lite Brite.  Oldie but a goodie.  $15ish.  Buy the mama and daddy some ziplock bags too if you get this game.  We count pegs, name colors, write letters and numbers in light... it's good clean wholesome fun.  I searched high and low and only found the unicorn-esque pink/purple one- but I believe it comes in more masculine colors.  If that matters to you.  Clearly it does not matter to me.  

Hex bugs.  They also make hex goldfish ($15) that swim in the bath tub.  We only have the land version.  We gave the fish to a friend for his birthday a few weeks ago and it was a big hit.  He squeeled!  Plus mommy doesn't need to buy fish food.  Win-win!  Non-eating robotic bugs & fish.  Brilliant!  Especially when mommy doesn't like creepy crawlys or swimmy-wimmys.  These are on sale now at a super sale price.  GO GET THEM people.  (lookin' at you wiggy & pheasant) These are cooler than the zsu zsu pets of the past and way less annoying. 

The Daniel Tiger game.  We are BONKERS about this game.  And by we I mean BIG.  He loves it.  Begs for it.  Talks about it. Wants to marry it.  Best purchase ever.  He's "playing" it as I type.  I type "playing" because he's really just talking about the colors, the characters, the town- so he's playing by his own rules.  That's my boy!  Amazon prime can get it to you overnight. $30. 

What I'm not buying my boys:
1.  This BEAUTIFUL VELVET blazer from Jcrew.  $140! 
(just because I'm too cheap to buy it doesn't mean I'm too good to take your hand-me-downs if you buy it and your boys outgrow it.  Looking at you Briana!)
2. Drum set
3. Jr Science kit.
Come-on- now: They are 3.5 and 1.5 (again 40 months and 18 months if you keep track that way!)   


What I'm buying my boys this year:
1. Goldfish hex bot- target $15
2. Laser peg light up building set $19
3. Little Prince and Fox HANDMADE push pillows. I've purchased a few things from Laura who has THE CUTEST ETSY SIGHT I'VE EVER SEEN! Check it out! It's called The shop of worldly delights.  What a perfect name! Like her on Facebook too.  She said she's going to be running some specials in the next few days in the spirit of thanksgiving.  She has super cute ornaments, scarves, NESTING DOLLS! and all around cute stuff.  Trust me.  I don't know her but I love her work.   https://www.etsy.com/shop/shopofworldlydelight/about?ref=l2-more-about
4. Another Peek-a-who book.  Our first one is in Little's belly. 

Unfortunately I am not a paid product endorser - so all of this stuff is stuff I genuinely love.  I will update you with gift ideas for your men-folk,  girlfriends/sister/mama/self etc. the rest of the week.  

Happy shopping pretty people!

I don't know all 50 state capitols and I know NOTHING about dinosaurs.  Well, that's not completley true.  I know sometimes we call HH's BFF Troy T-rex.  I'm not sure why we do- because his arms are not little and he's not a tyrant lizard king as the scientific name would lead you to believe.  I also know that I called LITTLE Maxasaurus for a while when he was a wee little tot.  It just fit.  That being said, I couldn't tell you a Megalosaurus (Great lizard!) from a Styracosaurus (spiked lizard!)  I kinda blame this on my early schooling.  I moved the summer between 6th and 7th grade.  I think my old school learned that stuff after I left and I think my new school taught it before I got there.  So I have no idea what the capitol of Vermont is.  (Just kidding- I have google.  So I can look it up) But this whole not knowing dinosaurs business is a problem.  You see, I have two little boys and they are BIG time into the dinosaurs.  I know they roar.  Errr... Roared?  At least I think they do/did. So while we play dinos I have mine hop around and I make him roar.  (why did I assign a male sex to him?  it could easily be a she-a-saurus! ugh- I'm a total pre-historic sexist) That's all I've got.  

Someone- probably the pheasant gave the boys some dinosaur flashcards.  (The pheasant loves a good set of flash cards!)  The boys like to the pull the cards out.  Study the pictures. And then, because they are 3.5 and 1.5 (or for those of you that like this kinda thing: 47 months & 18 months~ oy!) they like to RIP the box apart (my 18 mo then likes to eat said box- like a velociraptor!) - this then leads to a Gypsy style slip-n-fall : much like you'd see at a big box store.  So as I picked up these hazardous dinosaur cards for the 12th time today I started to read the cards.  Below is a list of interesting things I learned.  Some factual from the actual cards and some of my ***NON-EXPERT*** observations.  It should go without saying that I am not a dinosaur expert.  So to all you folks who are- I am totally butchering this whole velociraptor thing and I apologize.  Jeez- I'm opening myself up to you and there you go judging me again.  Again- the below is my non-expertise dinosaur observations.  (so the dino association of america doesn't get mat at me I will tell you my thoughts as well as the "facts.") 

1.  MommyOhhhh observation: There are three main types of dinosaurs.  
A. Those that look like the T-rex.  
B. Those that look like the triceratops.  
C. And other.  Other includes ones that are bird-ish in nature (both feathered and non-feathered), ones that look similar to turtles/tortoises (shit- I'm not turtle/tortoise expert either- I have no idea if those are two different animals or just two words: one fancier.  What I can tell you is that spell check went crazy on this post y'all!) 

So- let's talk about the T-rex family.  Take a look at the picture.  I think science is trying to trick us here people.  These 8 dinos are all the same, no?  Again, I'm no expert but they all look alike!  If they aren't the same they are certainly cousins, SISTERS (see- not a sexistasaurs y'all!) and BFF's that look EXACTLY alike.  So while the scientific community would probably argue with me- study the above flash card and see for yourself.  Science has been proven wrong.  Maybe I'm the one to expose the dinosaur inaccuracies... who knows?  Just look and let me know what you think

MommyOhhhh observation B. The triciratops & those that look like a triceratops.  These have the spiky head thorns y'all.  Check out the pictures.  Again- same logic as above- are we sure that these aren't all the same creature?  I mean... look close.  It will certainly make you wonder if science got it wrong again.

MommyOhhhh observation C.  OTher.  This category got really boring- so I decided to kinda blow it off because who cares about these?  I do like a nice pair of tortoise shell glasses... but really- that had nothing to do with dinosaurs... or does it?  Hmmmm...

2.  Scientific fact y'all- There is a large number of dinosaurs that mean Something {fill in the blank} Lizard.   We will start with the legit T-Rex: which translates toTyrant lizard king.  If you didn't know that then you skipped my first paragraph and you should go back, put your tortoise shell glasses on and re-read it.  This is a lesson y'all!
Spinosaurus- SPINY lizard
Kentrosaurus- spiked lizard
Ankylosaurus- Stiffened lizard
Pachyrinosaurus- Thick nosed lizard.  
MommyOhhhh observation.  The lizard is bad-ass with this kinda family tree.  You should be nice to lizards and you should also keep a close eye on them.

3. "Fact"- Some can run 50 mph (strothiousaurus) .  Ummmm... how do we know this?  Were there dino races with clocked times for accuracy? And the winner is... the strothiousaurus! Wonder if SHE got a medal.  

4. Fact- Some had scaly skin.  (pre-historic = pre-lotion)  This one I 100% believe.  

Here is the meat of the issue pretty people: What I have trouble believing is that dinosaurs are real and dragons are not. If that's true- and look for yourselves people, I am not trying to change public policy here- explain how the Carnotaurus pictured to the left LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE A DRAGON.  BAM!  Gotcha!  Point for MommyOhhhh! Take that science- you are clearly talking to someone who knows some stuff.  What I do know for certain is that I love saying Velociraptor- which means Swift thief.  Kinda like a gypsy.  

Hope you learned something today.  Also, Please let me know if you are free for dinosaur inspired tutoring in about 5 years (or 60 months) when BIG will need help with his science homework.  

I LOVE MAIL!  I love cards.  Magazines.  Packages.  Weekly circulars.  I love it all.  (I could go without the bills- but that's part of being a grown up)  I love sending mail and I love receiving it. If we were on card sending terms pre 9/11- you may still be cleaning glitter or confetti out of your carpet from some of the goodies I sent back in the day.  I sent confetti clad cards for Birthdays, Halloween,  Christmas, Hanukah - you name it.  Even for no reason at all (MRRD!) I stopped those antics when real crazies (not your average run of the mill quirky-crazy like moi!) started to send dangerous mystery powder via usps.  All that to say that I LOVE mail!  

HH (Who was hot boyfriend at the time!) told me one day about 6 months into our dating  (about date 23- yes I counted!) that he thought the post office should be dismantled.  {{{{{crickets}}}}} Whaaaaatttttt????? Is he serious?  Good thing he didn't tell me that on our first date or he might have a very different life right now.  CUZ THAT SOUNDS CRAZY!  Until you hear him talk about it.  Then it makes sense.  A little.  Sometimes. (That plus he's super smart ((and dreamy!)) so when he talks one can be swayed a bit by his argument ((and charm))- no offense to my large postal worker fan base! So while we don't agree on everything- we respect each other and each-other's opinions. (I'm not ready to dismantle the post office- but he does bring up some interesting points)

What HH did was he made me realize that it's not mail or a witty card per se that I love- it's the unexpected surprise. (thanks a lot email- now i get way less cute cards in the mail!) I hate a surprise that I know about.  You know the kind.  The your birthday is in 3 weeks and I have your gift.  It's here.  Hidden.  Somewhere in the house.  You'll never find it.  Haaa.  SURPRISE.  UGh.  I hate those! As a kid I remember sneaking around the house with a nameless related person who shares the same parents (she said not to mention her name folks!  I'm protecting her privacy) looking for our Christmas gifts.  Annnnd we found some.  And that's why I know for a fact that I get cheated out of Kris-mas gifts! My mom had a HUGE 3 ft wonder-woman coloring book stashed with the Xmas gifts and I DIDN'T GET IT UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!  IN JANUARY!  Hmmmm... I know I was wrong for peeking but she was TOTALLY wrong for withholding the goods.  But I digress... back to the topic at hand.

On Tuesday we got a surprise in the mail!  All the way from my aunt BUB in Alaksa. (Not sure why we call her aunt bub- I asked my mom but as you recall, she cheats (withholds Xmas gifts and passes them off as birthday gifts!) and drinks (see nesting doll story!) so I'm not sure she knows either.  Well gentle reader, Bub sends surprise packages every few months and I LOVE IT!  It's always out of the blue and something totally unexpected.  Shoe box of dinosaurs!  Check.  Box of stickers! Check.   Juneau high school bears hockey t-shirt.  Check.  Little red riding hood finger puppet glove.  Check!  3 little pigs in seattle shirt.  CHECK MATE! All really thoughtful and cool  "just thinking about you guys" (she's not from the South y'all!) stuff.

So- the package of all packages arrived.  SURPRISE! Cutest owl socks in the whole wide world (size 18-24 months thank you very much)!  Moose hug socks- with grippers!  Cute. Functional.  Safe! (Little is still a bit cartoonish when he runs so grippers are much appreciated!) And an Alaska long sleeve t for big.  Perfect because he's growing like a weed- his last year long sleeves are like belly shirts and it's starting to turn chilly. 

My Thank You card has already been mailed- you gotta thank your peeps!  Sans confetti- I don't want to be hauled away for being a lunatic.  Especially now since HH's 'dismantle the post office' ideas are now out in the open.  And since the government reads our email and probably my super popular blog.  And since I look terrible in white jackets.  

Happy Thursday pretty people!  Thanks for reading. 

Before I begin rambling on, let me introduce myself. I am a long-time friend of the author of this blog and formerly known as “Messica” in her posts. I am the mother of 2 girls aged 4 and 7 and 1 (surprise!) boy age 2.

I love the daily blog and was excited to be a guest blogger as I always have plenty to say and don’t always have an outlet! (Did I mention that I am a teacher/librarian at an elementary school? Intelligent adult conversation does not comprise the majority of my day!) But enough about me…

This week I have had Thanksgiving on my mind and, like many others, have been counting my blessings. In anticipation of the upcoming holidays, my son came home with a “homework” assignment from daycare. (Yes, the current educational trend is such that they are even giving homework to two-year-olds—but don’t get me started on that.) However, I thought this particular assignment—obviously to be used for bulletin board décor—was a really cute idea. One sheet was a cornucopia which was to be decorated with photos/magazine pictures of things your child is thankful for. The other was a printed copy of a turkey to disguise so he could “hide” and not be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner.

The first thing I did was rummage through my LARGE box of family photos (you know, the ones that never make it into the scrapbook you intended to make for your kids??) for a stunning picture of myself. Because certainly my son is MOST thankful for the one who diapers him, feeds him, washes his clothes, and bathes him…among numerous other things. I figured I could find a smaller picture of his “playmate” known to him as “Daddy”. (I’ve never been known as “the fun one” but everyone seems to be clean, happy, and well-fed so it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.) I ended up finding only pics of my three children and then some out of magazines of footballs, toy cars, community workers like policemen/firemen, and a nativity scene (it is a faith-based daycare he attends—trying to score points with his teacher and remember that this is what we should really be thankful for.)

We let our son color the cornucopia and help pat down the pictures after we applied the glue. Cornucopia done! On to the business of disguising the turkey. We decided to dress ours up as our son’s favorite service provider, a fireman. We gave him a red crayon & let him create! Then we happily attached stickers with the help of our child and our two girls (directions said it was to be a family project).

We proudly brought our creation to school to turn in and only then did I realize my son was attending school with the offspring of Martha Stewart AND Pablo Picasso! I wish you all could have seen the creations these two-year-old (obviously creative geniuses) were able to produce for the assignment. Some had beautiful clothing, hair, makeup, you name it on the turkey. It was blatantly obvious that none of the children had done the project and I don’t think many of them even assisted the parents—because what parent in his/her right mind allows a toddler to play with a glue gun and glitter?

Now, you may be wondering if I was any less proud of my son’s homemade turkey and the answer is no, I was not. I was actually more proud of my husband and myself for instilling early in our children the value of a job well done and of helping but not “doing” work for our child. What would our older children have thought of us had we simply done the assignment for him (as it appears so many parents did)? My second grader clearly would’ve recognized this for the “cheating” that it was or would have wondered why we had so little faith in our son’s creative abilities.

So while you may not think I’m Pinterest Mom of the Year, I still stand by my decision. Good luck to all those parents out there who insist on “helping” kids with assignments just a little too much. You may be able to do work for the Alligator Class, but I’ve seen Common Core math, and you are going to have some problems in the near future!

I referred to "the list" yesterday (did you miss it?  go back and read it.  Guaranteed to make you smarter and it's free! ) as it related to co-sleeping.  Today I will tell you my stance on boys clothing.  My boys will NEVER wear tv/cartoon character clothes. (need to send plex and the gabba gang a memo about that- as well as Tiny from dinosaur train- sorry guys) My boys will NEVER wear super hero stuff. (Says the mama that has *every {good guy only- thank you very much!} super hero represented: the hulk, captain america, spiderman, superman, the flash and batman**.- you smell what I'm cookin' people?)  My boys will NEVER wear sci-fi gear.  Hellooooo R2D2 jammies.  Hello Yoda onesie.  And hello Chewbacca (autocorrect wants this to say Chewable- he would make yo @$$ chewable!) flocked t-shirt. So besides the wise age old expression "Never say never"- it's clear that I've broken item #2 on my list.  

I will not name names, but last night I was in a store that claims to ca{R}ter to boys and girls.  Ummmm...No.  That should be a whole other post.  Messica (my non-related #1 fan!) remind me about that.  Anyway a lady there was COMPLAINING that the blue stripy fox pajamas (note to self- go back and buy the blue stripy fox pajamas!) were "too boyish."  Her little girl wasn't going to like them.OMG!  Lady!  You have 75-89% of the store!  A rainbow unicorn threw up in there!  Pink!  Purple!  Aqua!  Sparkles!  Glitter!  Sequins! All of that as far as the eye can see.  Give us the masculine blue stripy fox jammies! (clearly they are super manly.  Blue.  Footed.  With a fox on the belly)  Or buy them and sew a bow on the fox's head (that's what my mama would do!) GOOD GRIEF- you have the majproty of the store.  Don't complain lady.

I have to search high and low for cute boy stuff because the choices are so limited.  Unless you want your son to look like a zoo keeper, a nascar driver (still on my never list!) a sports figure (I compromised with Jerseys if it's a college/university that we attended, the bears, the blackhawks, the white sox, chicago cubs ((hey now- I'm from a mixed family- we support both chicago teams!)) & any higher learning institution my cousins attend b/c they send cute free stuff! #annette #monica #ethan! ) a lumberjack or Ed Hardy - it's slim pickin's out there folks. {I should take this time to tell you that HH has forbidden smocking.  At all times.  Non-negotiable. He may not actually be southern} 

So while some of you may not "get" why boys clothes have: pirates, skulls, mustaches and monocles- know this- IT's ALL WE HAVE!  Your sweet girls get: french poodles, pandas holding hands, rainbows, unicorns, ballerinas, ice-skaters (Messica- remind me to write about how I wanted to be a professional ice skater) , ice cream cones, nesting dolls, KITTENS!,pink baby uggs with ribbon, ruffle butts, cheerleading outfits, butterflies, peplum tops, leggins, hello kitty, TIARAS, peacocks wearing diamond earrings (WTH?) Y'ALL HAVE EVERYTHING!  We have dinosaurs.  Maybe a slim fitting jean.  And yet I don't tell the clerk that the unicorn cap sleeved top is too girly- and can we make this more manly (#lookinatyoudavekitson!).

So while I can't really sympathize with  your frustration that you can't find a girly hulk costume- know this: super hero costumes are made for the masses.  There aren't a ton of girls that want to go down that route.  (why would they want to - you can be a MERMAID!!!!) That being said if your little girl DOES want to be the hulk- I think that is AWESOME!  Go look at pinterest and figure out how to girl that up a bit- slap on some green eyeshadow and a green tu-tu and go hulk out with your bad selves! But to expect stores to do that for you seems a bit silly to me.  They are for profit companies.  That doesn't make them sexist (yep- fox pajama lady thought it was sexist) Besides all the stuff listed above - you have pinterest!  And we have masculine stripy fox pajamas.  At least give us that.  

* Did I miss any GLC? 


**Correction- we do not have Robin because HH doesn't believe that either of our boys are merely a side-kick.  That and that he and his cousin used to get in fist fights about who HAD to be Robin- he didn't want to put big and little through that!  


We are not co-sleepers.  Co-sleeping was actually one of the first items on the list.  You know the list.  All new parents make it- the LIST of things I will NEVER do.  (You know what I'm talking about Courtney- my kid will never have sugar.  Mmmmmhmmmm.  Jodie said I will never have toys in my living room.  Mmmmmmhmmmm) We said we'd never co-sleep.  If you aren't familiar with the term it's when a child sleeps in the same room with or in the bed with the parents or siblings.  Now is probably a REALLLLYYYYYY good time for me to tell you that I AM NOT AN EXPERT ON CO-SLEEPING.  (Or anything really for that matter) So this post will not show up in a medical journal or a scientific study.  (My 7th grade science project was about shampoo and how different brands worked on different hair- thank god my sister and her girlfriends came to California for spring break- and let me use them as my hair study panel- so again, I'm not an expert.  On anything really!)

Co-sleeping is somewhat controversial. Folks either love it.  YAYYYY~Co-Sleeping! Or hate it.  CO-SLEEPING = BAD! BOO! (Throw it in the googler and see for yourself- strong opinions on both sides) I'm on the rare side of the opinion- like Switzerland.  I don't care if you co-sleep or not.  It has no impact on me and my decision for my family.  Both sides have valid points but we elected not to co-sleep.  While I was pregnant with BIG- Hot Husband (HH from now on!) did a stint working with a non-profit.  One day a lady came into his office looking for donations of cribs and baby mattresses.  During their conversation she rattled off different facts and figures about co-sleeping.  Some of those stuck with HH and he shared them with me that night. (AGAIN- I'm not judging you if you co-sleep!) We tried room co-sleeping with BIG (that's where the baby just sleeps in the room with you- not in bed) but that was a flop.  His every breath and movement woke us up.  So we moved him into his nursery on our second night home.  Because that's what worked for us.  

Octopus stetch. You'd be surprised that I couldn't find a picture of an actual octopus on a bed stretching- Odd... graphic designers, get on that!
PictureYou bet your DUPA he's adorable
That being said, that's not to say we've NEVER slept with our boys.  Because we have.  They climb all over us to snuggle on the couch, love seat, and rocker (see last week's post!)- which frequently finds one or both of us nodding off into a little nap.  When BIG has a nightmare he's welcomed with open arms into our room.  When little is teething we will let him in too.  On one condition.  It HAS to be after 4 am.  If it's before 4- I will do everything I can in my power to rock him, feed him and comfort him to get him back in his own bed.  If it's after 4 we are kinda resigned to be up for the day so we let him come snuggle with us.  I say snuggle there and not sleep because we can't sleep with him in the bed.  It's like sleeping with an octopus.  Leg here.  Tentacle there.  Uh- no good sleep comes from that.  

LITTLE has figured out our method though.  This morning he let us sleep until 5 and then he summoned HH to come and get him.  After he bum rushed our bedroom door to get in (think he likes our high thread count sheets?) he just couldn't get comfortable.  Flip.  Flop.  Twist.  Turn.  Wiggle.  Giggle.  Headbutt. Cry.  WAHHHH.  WAHHHHH.  After all that carrying on HH (who is not only hot but very smart!) decided to get him some milk.  Ahhhhh- relief.  LITTLE needed EXACTLY ONE SIP of milk.  One.  He gets a little leeway right now because I see a baby molar trying to pop out.  So I know he needed that 1 early morning sip of calcium today.  

Do you ever wish you could go back in time and get a do-over?  I do. Not because I would necessarily do anything different but because I want to experience some things EXACTLY the same.  Here are a few of my perfect moment memories to jump start this beautiful saturday. 

My wedding day- I wouldn't change a thing.  I married my best friend and the sexiest man I've ever met.  Eat your heart out ladies! 


A random hot day at the zoo.  It called for a little splashing around in the water.  Perfect day with two perfect boys!


Eating goldfish.  I vividly remember taking this picture- I knew it would become one of my favorites.  He is a perfect little bundle of Max.  


Impromptu trolley ride downtown.  It was kinda hot, kinda muggy- Little was getting fussy but it was AWESOME and perfect.  

These are some of the moments that I cherish.  I'm a lucky lady to be called Mommyohhhh!  

Happy weekend pretty people! 

PictureIt's BACK!
Tis the season,

Not for what you are probably thinking though.  As we approach the Holiday Season, I’m not talking about Turkey, Black Friday or Pumpkin Lattes (although I do love a good Pumpkin Latte!)  I’m talking about the McRib.  A Rib Sandwich. Mc-style.  Tis the season for the McRib Sandwich.  So, those McDonald’s people will have you believe that this is something really special….available for a limited time only.  If only that were true.  They make a big hullabaloo and advertise it like mad….THE McRIB IS BACK!!! But, where did it go? My God….this sandwich has NEVER left.  It is always around.  Just like Shark Week (but I’ll save that for another time.)  The McRib is always back from somewhere.  But that poses some interesting questions: Where does it go?  When does it go?  & Why does it go if everyone is so happy when it’s back? 

PictureSO GROSS!
Honestly, in this entire world, there might not be anything less appetizing to me than the McRib.  Granted, I’m not a huge fan of BBQ sauce in general, but in all fairness, I’m not sure that this can even be classified as such.  It looks more orange and sticky like some old leftover sweet and sour weirdly coagulated sauce-like substance (which I also find pretty gross). 
In my opinion, this is not an eat it on the run kinda snack.  This is a sandwich that should only  be eaten in the privacy of your own home.  Once it is safely in it’s bag for the journey home- it should not be removed until you are seated and ready to eat.   It should definitely NOT be eaten on the train as one of my delightfully charming fellow commuters did recently.  In fact, she ate two of them which she extracted from a giant bag which I can only assume held more McRib’s for when she reached wherever she was going.  I had no choice but to watch in horror and disgust as the horrendous pungent aroma overtook the small enclosed space we shared….you couldn’t help but look….there was nowhere to go and no way to escape without actually getting off the train.  The smell was almost too much to bear, but since I only had two more stops to go, I stayed on the train. 

Two youngish boys, (are early 20’s still boys?) were in earshot and one said to the other, “Yum. McRib”.  Ewww.  .  You can keep your McRib.  I’ll keep my Pumpkin Latte Which truly is “back" and a special treat available for a limited time only.

We have a greenish-greyish faux suede rocking chair recliner.  There. I said it.  First sentence no less. It feels good to get that out to the masses {all 33 of you that read this} See haters, my life isn't perfect. (What are you doing reading this blog anyway?  Go away and hate somewhere else- JEEZ!) ANYWAY, it's: ugly, awkward, germ-y and milk stained.  Just last week I actually apologized to a guest in my home because she had to look at it.  

You see gentle reader (I was just informed that outside the victorian era- nobody writes or says "gentle reader" anymore- but #immagonnabringitback!( I'm not what you would call a recliner person.  As a matter of fact, since we didn't have one growing up I had no recliner experience.  (Except in college we had a LAZY friend BOY {*wink*wink- not getting sued because I named names again!} that bought a fancy name brand recliner and the salesman told him he could pee on it and it would just roll off.  +1pt for the fancy recliner sales techniques) 

But back to my tale.  When I was big and pregnant with baby #1 (who I will call BIG moving forward) we decided that we needed a rocking chair for the nursery.  We looked everywhere! (within a 20 mile radius) We would have paid anything! (up to $200)- so you see dear reader because I'm cheap and kinda lazy our choices were somewhat limited.  Then we finally found one that we loved!  Kidding.  I hated it upon purchase.  But it fit our budget and didn't clash horribly with the cute baby bedding I picked.  

Next month we will have had this monstrosity for 4 years.  In those 4 years I have rocked and nursed two babies in that chair. (ok la leche league, I didn't technically "nurse"- I pumped but the same thing so shut up) Chris has performed countless concerts serenading the boys while in the rocker.  We've rocked while reading, watching SEC football, and we've rocked while watching 37 million yo gabba gabba episodes.  

The eyesore supported me when I was pregnant with #2 (who I will call LITTLE) when I couldn't fall asleep in my bed.  It provided comfort to BIG when he woke up in the middle of the night wet or from a bad dream.  There were countless mornings when we found him curled up in the big ugly chair.  It provided comfort and stability when BIG had a broken femur last summer.  You see pretty people, big ugly chair has been very good to us.  Both BIG and LITTLE would curl up in what I call egg man position on my chest while I rocked them to sleep- while rocking in that chair.  I had such a wave of love, warmth and comfort rocking my boys in that chair.

Yet I apologize to visiting folks for it's condition, look and placement.  I said "Don't mind the chair, it's not usually in the living room.  But it is.  Well, it has been since 6/23/13- after we got home from the hospital with BIG in his spica (1/2 body) cast.  

So Big ugly chair- thank you for the last 4 years.  IT's with a heavy heart that I say goodbye and welcome new sleek rocker into our house.  That being said, last night Chris and I were a little frowny faced about getting rid of the big ugly recliner.  (how did I get this far without telling you gentle reader that this chair is totally THE MOST COMFORTABLE CHAIR IN THE WORLD- like sit on your dupa (@$$ in Polish!) all day long comfortable!) So we may not get rid of it.  But we may.  Or we may not.  Our choice.  But I will tell you one thing though.  IF we keep her, I will never apologize for her again.  She helped me sooth my babies and that's more important than anything in the world.  

She better look out though, these two look really comfy in the new chair...

It's only Tuesday and my week has already been made.  Several amazing things happened to me this week. I've had THREE unexpected compliments.  Three.  Count them.  One.  Two.  Three!  I will go in backwards order just to keep you on your toes.  

Tonight- I cooked porkchops.  Boring, right?  Nope- hot husband gave me a high-five because they were cooked perfectly.  Woohoo!  No picture because we gobbled them up. 

PicturePhoto credit to SCPhotography
Max is learning how to kiss.  It's adorable.  It's more of a sucking/slirping combo but I'll take it.  He has been leaning in for kisses all week.  It's both unexpected and fantastic.  Love smooching my boys!

Last but certainly not least is getting a TOTALLY UNSOLICITED "I love you" from Jack.  He's said I love you hundreds of times (I've said it millions trying to get him to say it!) but this time it was all on his own.  Not because it was a call and response- but because he wanted me to know he loves me.  He had the idea to tell me at that moment that he loves me.  It was music to my ears.  

So while we've all seen the lists of stuff people are thankful for on Facebook- if I was doing one I would say that I'm thankful for these three events and these three men.  Do me a favor this week- compliment someone & make their day.  Maybe even their week or year.  

So aunt Wanda, if you are reading this- I love your laugh.  It always makes me laugh and smile.  

I DID choose the pug life.  The pug just didn't choose me.  Which is somewhat perplexing for a few reasons:

 #1.  I was the one that wanted a pug. 
#2. I am awesome

I just happened to mention in passing, to my then boyfriend {now husband!} mom's cousin (it's the south y'all, not sure how else to tell it but by going down the family tree! ) who happened to have a litter of pugs that I love them.  After we were all married and moved into our (almost) perfect (but not *anthropologie!) house (are you a long time reader?  If so- you already know, if not-WELCOME & go back and catch up!) we got a call- did we want a pug?  HECK YES WE WANT A PUG!  Well... I wanted a pug.  Not that Chris didn't want a pug.  That just wasn't the dog he always wanted. (That's a whole other story- do you think I'm going to tell you about our entire life in one post?  No sir)  Which was AWESOME for me because she was going to be MY dog.  I was going to dress her up and take her everywhere.  Only one thing. 

PictureShe is in love with him!
She didn't/doesn't like me.  Well, I guess that's not really fair to say.  She likes me only if my boys aren't around.  I'm her 4th favorite person in the world.  Maybe her 5th (if she had more face time with my dad I would certainly be #5) She loves loves loves Chris.  I don't blame her- I do too, but geez... it's a little over-the-top pug! 

Her second favorite person is Max.  He feeds her his scraps (I know dog folks- she shouldn't get scraps- but Jeesh- he's 18 months old & he eats everything in sight- so the scraps are few and far between.  They also like to play chase.  And by that I mean he likes to chase her.  

Third favorite person is Jack.  Not sure why she likes him more than me.  He gets nose to nose with her and makes darth vadar noises in her face.  But she digs it.  When I do it- she runs away.  So as you can see gentle reader, it's not for lack of trying.  

Then, there's me.  There are very few pictures of us together because she hates me.  Oh, did I think/say/type that?  Oooops- good thing she can't read or she'd totally take that out on me tomorrow.  (since she's currently all snuggled up with my man) 

So until she starts liking me- I will just continue buying her great outfits.  (this links back to #2- because I am awesome.  And she will realize it one day.)  Night Night pug lovers.  

*Still waiting on a call from anthropologie for sponsorship.  As a very wise man once said "there is talk that they are interested" ~ so we'll see...  
Not that I expect any of you to Kris-mas shop for me.  (Except you Chris)  And I certainly don't mean to sound ungrateful.  Let me just put it out there if you give me a gift- I don't care where it comes from.  Sure it would be nice if it came from the bank and was a bag of money.  A big, heavy, weighty bag.  But unfortunately none of you reading this are that rich or generous. (*note- find new rich & giving friends) 

I have compiled a list of a few things NOT to buy me - goodwill just happened to be the store I was in when I saw these items.  Nothing against goodwill- my mom gave me my favorite sweater from there- granted it kinda smelled like an old lady but after I washed it it's perfectly fine.  (And you fancy folks- don't judge.  You can try on a sweater at Neimans that smells of the old lady too) 

First up- Tiger plates.  Ummmm... One would think this might be a good gift for me.  I can see said gift giver saying "she likes to eat and she's an LSU tiger fan." Both true gentle reader.  But just look at them.  Do you want that guy staring at you while you are eating?  And the tiger strip on the edges would be very distracting.  It would be hard to plate like I was on top chef with this set.  So No.  

#2.  Someone's kid's old bad art.  I have two kids.  I will probably have some pretty bad art of my own soon.  But I tell you what- I will not send it to goodwill.  I will hold on to it, box it up and give it to them when they are old enough to hang art on the walls of their first house.  I would never donate our artistic treasures to goodwill.  

Side note- the price was $19.99 and the tag said "abstract painting".  Now clearly I'm no art historian but this doesn't look too abstract to me.  Two ducks clear as day.  Tag should have said Two ducks.  Maybe when I go back to work I should apply to be an art namer... Y'all remind me of that when the time comes.  

Now this... #3 is going to be tricky for those of you that know me well.  If we are extremely close you know that I love plastic, squishy grapes.  So it was somewhat shocking to see that someone just donated A FULL BAG OF PLASTIC GRAPES to goodwill.  What is wrong with that person?  Geesh.  

Now you might be saying- if you love plastic grapes why is this not a good gift?!  That is a great question to the 12 of you that read my blog.  (notice that's up from 9 last week?  I'm on a roll people! R. O.L. L!) Anywho- I digress (again) It's not a great gift for a few reasons.  I don't want to sound like a plastic grape snob but my plastic grapes have to be new.  And while goodwill thinks very highly of their grapes $7.99/bag, they aren't new.  I would want to share the squishy grape experience with my boys that I had.  My Busia (grandmother for those of you that don't speak Polish) had some at her house and they were AWESOME!  You need to be able to squish, bite, and overall manhandle plastic grapes to get the full experience.  

That being said you need fresh plastic grapes.  Not second hand- the I don't know who else squeezed them variety type.  So if that makes me a bad person, so be it.  

In the spirit of Halloween... oh wait- that has already passed.  I should know since it's early November and EVERY SINGLE STORE on the planet already has Christmas stuff out.  Not that I mind- I love Kris-mas...but we still have another holiday in the horizon.  But go figure that is not the point of this post.  

The point is there is some STRANGE~ WACKY~ZANY~and downright koo koo candy out there y'all!  I guess I've never really paid attention to candy that wasn't peanut buttery/chocolatey or peeps (I know!  I know!  ewww) OR to product packaging.  {{Which is strange since I used to work for a company with the #1 recognizable brand in the world.}}  Since my uber foxy husband is a packaging guru- I've started to notice.  So today I noticed.  Two very disturbing packages.  First up: Jungle ropes.  Marshmallow.  Jungle.  Ropes.  What about that doesn't sound delicious? Not only are they individually wrapped- but there is also a KISSING MONKEY ON THE PACKAGE.  Hmmmm... 

Next up: Bumble beans.  41 flavors of bumbly-beany goodness.  I mean... who buys bumble beans?  Doesn't it make you think - since there is a BEE on the package- that this is something dangerous?  Now before you get on your "don't eat sugar/glucose/fructose/baby-toes" high horse- that is also not the point of this.  The point is this: aren't bees mean?  Why on earth would you want to eat a mean bean?  

So besides the fact that my husband just makes me an all around better person- he also has taught me to look for these packaging faux pas.  That being said- I'm off to start the weekend with my monkey-men.  Have a great night faithful fans!   Beware of the bumble beans (and bees!)

So I guess technically I didn't have a "dinner party" per se tonight.  I did have my sweet*sweet*sweet friend Sarah over for dinner.  She's the kind of girl that you wish was your little sister because she's so stinkin' adorable.   Sarah was visiting from Nashville and rather than picking a kid friendly spot for dinner we decided to hang out at my place.  DING DING DING!  Perfect opportunity to use my cute stuff! (hope I don't sound like a  braggart here- that is not the point - keep reading and I will get there!) 

So I made Chili.  Easy- yummy and great for a chilly night like tonight.  As I was trying to pull everything together my brain was thinking about my post from the other day.  So while I didn't pull out the China, (I certainly want to use it with Chris for the first time!) I did pull out my cute colorful floral bowls, platter, and what I am calling the treo-server.  (I had a feeling neither of us were going to add jalapenos but I didn't want to have one empty slot- how silly would that look?)  

I also made cornbread muffins in a heart shaped tin.  Why not?  Jack loves cornbread, I love him- so why not show him how much with the super special love muffins?  As we were eating dinner and enjoying our visit (do I sound like a 89 year old granny when I say visit?) I couldn't help but think how nice it was to bring out the "special" plates and serving pieces for my special family and friends.  I certainly need to do this more. 

The boys even got to use their fancy "bobot" (Jack)  "bot-bot" (max) cups! I let Sarah use glass.  Sweet dreams Y'all!

I have never met a nesting doll that I didn't like.  **Well.  That isn't completely true.  One of my favorite big box stores (I will NOT tell you the name.  But it rhymes with  Largit) has a little girl bedroom set that I'm not wild about.  The girls are fine but the colors are a bit off.  {Geez people- get a pantone book of hip colors for crying out loud- I don't think you'll find mauve anywhere in it} But I digress.  First paragraph and I'm digressing already. Oh boy.  I will get the hang of this blogging stuff soon.  I have to keep all 9 of you interested in coming back again tomorrow, so I will stay on subject.  Nesting dolls...

So I saw these nesting doll sticky pages (think brand that rhymes with "most bit"- again afraid of being sued without having a lawyer on retainer.) at my favorite store in the whole wide world- ANTHROPOLOGIE.  (I'm totally open for sponsorship Anthropologie!Bet my 9 readers would buy ooldes of your stuff.) 

ANY-WHO... Old me would have bought them- because a. they are nesting dolls.  b. i love office supplies and c. i'm that girl that buys random stuff like that.  But the new me took a pass.  I have decided my life needs to be decluttered and organized.  Don't get me wrong, it hurt me not to buy these bad girls- I even toured the store with them.  As I held in my hands,  I had a conversation with myself (because I'm a little koo koo) 

KPO: What are you going to do with them?
KPO: I don't know.  Maybe send them to the pheasant? (Not her real name.  She does not want the fame associated with the 9 of you that read my blog to know her true identity. But she is very supportive and the #1 blog fan- I just don't want to give away too many details of her identity or she may sue me too) 
KPO: The pheasant doesn't want those.
KPO: Sure she does.  She will think they are cute.
KPO: But what will she do with them?
KPO: I don't know- send them back to you/me? ( <----only crazy people think/say/type this)
KPO: That is ridiculous.  You should be arrested for even thinking about buying someone a gift so they can use it on you.
KPO: Geez- way to guilt trip a gal.

So I didn't buy them.  But it was the thought that counted.  I texted the pheasant a picture of that I'm now calling "the nesting doll most bit's" but her phone was on the fritz.  It was the thought that counts.  This may be the first time she's seeing them.  {{I will totally go back and buy them for you if you want them Pheasant. No obligation to send them to me either.  Because I've grown as a person and I realize the gift should be about you.}}

 Since I've had this realization let me:
1. Apologize to my friend named ... let's just say it rhymes with "Matie" in case she's not interested in the fame either- for those two birthday gifts I bought for you and kept for myself.  Sorry.
2. Brag that I sent my friend "Messica" (not her real name either.  Duh) a text telling her if I had $100 extra dollars I would send her girls fox gear.  Thought that counts. 

**So there.  I'm a liar.  

 But it's true I love nesting dolls.  Below see a picture of my uber cute and fancy nesting girl necklace.  As well as my measuring cups.  They remind me of my mom and sister.  Who will also remain nameless. (see that my mom's been hitting the pinot noir?)  Again- the fame.  Can't we please give my family the privacy they deserve people?!?  Geesh.  

It's not that I want to move.  I don't.  I love our house.  I mean, it's no mansion but it's perfect for us.  At least that's what I think until I wander into an Anthropologie store.  Then I want to move in.  I know I know I know- logistically it makes no sense.  Where will we put the crib?  Where will we walk the pug?  Does fire code prevent Chris from grilling THE BEST CHEESEBURGERS in the world on the premises? 

There are a million reason's why we can't move in.  {Besides that store management wouldn't allow it} I think what I love is the whimsey.  I mean if I had all my plates, coasters, rabbit busts stacked on my table near my mushroom glass dome I would look more Sanford and Son than Chic.  But somehow they: pull it off, nail it and make me wonder why I can't create my own signature look with my cha-cki's. 

I just love the store.  Nearly everything in it.  Even these polka dot **fox butter dishes.  Which by the way I am totally opposed to keeping butter at room temperature- so why in the world do I swoon over a butter dish that clearly doesn't fit in the designated butter area in the frigidair?  Because they are cute and unique and special.  Which brings me to the real point of this post.  

I have cute stuff.  REALLY cute stuff.  For the 10 of you that commented on my first post- (THANK YOU!)  (most of) you saw my wedding registry.  All kinds of cool stuff.  I have great taste.  But I don't use my "special" stuff all the time.  Why not?  Am I waiting for something special?  Some big occasion to use my China?  Like the birth of my first son?  Second son?  The welcoming of Beulah (and Hank!) into our lives?  Nope-didn't use it at any one of those four events.  As a matter of fact I haven't used it yet.  But I'm going to.  This week.  What's the worst that can happen?  I break a piece?  So what.  It's a classic pattern- I can always replace it.  So.  If you are in the neighborhood and you smell fantastic cheeseburgers (no thanks to me) and you stop in- insist I use my China.  

**disclaimer: In this case the fox says- would you like some warm butter that may give you Salmonella?!?  

I posed the question yesterday if I could get more people to sign up to read my blog vs' the Obama-care web site in the first day.  It was totally tongue and cheek but since I've been thinking about blogging for awhile- I decided to give it a go.  (or GEAUX- since I'm an LSU tiger fan!)

This entry is called Why my children booby trap the house.  Roger- get your head out of the gutter, this has nothing to do with boobies.  It has to do with traps. 

It started out very subtle.  A toy here.  A wrapper there.  Stuff pulled out from under the bed (yes-ok, we have stuff under our bed- I know it should have a proper home, but sometimes under the bed is the perfect spot.  But I digress...) so I couldn't get said child IN the bed without making noise.  (Did y'all ever hear that the artist that I will ALWAYS call Prince used to crumple up newspapers and scatter them around his bedoom so nobody would sneak in on him?- again, I digress.  Seeing a pattern here people?  It's hard for me to stay on topic.  I'm like a goldfish.  And forget about it if I see GLITTER!  oooohhhh... glitter....Any-who...) I noticed it mostly with Max.  He'd have barbed wire (ok, I can also stretch the truth a bit from time to time) in front of his crib.  Well, maybe it was just an action figure or a car but the fleshy side of my big foot will swear under oath that it felt like barbed wire.  The only time I noticed it was at naptime or bed time.  Until today.  

Today I was tag teamed.  I was trying to wash dishes and be a good housewife (I'm still new to this whole housewife thing so I'm still trying to figure out how to get it all done early and have the rest of the day for my bon-bons) when I noticed a shuffle shuffle behind me. Do we have a mouse?  Noooooo... we have a booby trapper.  The shuffle shuffle was thing two PULLING OUT THE OVEN DRAWER.  A. How does he know we have an oven drawer.  B.  I forgot we had one.  C.  You can tell I don't use that junk in there.  I think he planned on me not noticing, falling over backwards all cartoon style so he and thing 1 could play all day without supervision.  Sure, I get it kid- me not dolling out the proper amount of cookies, making you sit on your bottom and not letting you CLIMB ON EVERYTHING so you bust your head open is kind of a drag.  But really- pulling the old backwards trip thing.  Not going to work.  Today anyway.  

Then I hear what sounds like a circus vehicle approaching (de de de de de de deeeeeee.) What the what?!?!  Thing 1 is speeding towards me at top speed.  In his spiderman pajamas (am I allowed to say spiderman?  will I go to blog jail?  Am I violating a law? Let me add this disclaimer- spiderman is a super hero created by some comic company and not a vision of my own.  Jesus- do I need a lawyer now?) holding his treasure box.  (more about that in another post.  Unless I get arrested.  If I can't blog from jail send me self addressed stamped envelopes and I will write out the whole story.  Not like I'll have much else to do in the big house.  Damn super hero jammies!) He proceeded to ride back and forth BEHIND me while I was doing the dishes in the hopes that I what... fell backwards?  So he could be the boss for the day and pull all the books out of the book case and jump on the couches until dad made it home for the day?  Well no sir.  I didn't fall for it.  I went along my merry way washing dishes.  

It's a wonder I was even allowed to start cleaning because thing 2 booby trapped the sink.  (Please don't say something snarky like- well while you are at it wipe down that dirty dishwasher- I try, it just keeps little finger prints.  Didn't your mama ever tell you if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all?  Geesh.  You will miss me when I'm in jail and you will probably feel guilty for judging my finger-printy dishwasher.  Jerk.