I don't know all 50 state capitols and I know NOTHING about dinosaurs. Well, that's not completley true. I know sometimes we call HH's BFF Troy T-rex. I'm not sure why we do- because his arms are not little and he's not a tyrant lizard king as the scientific name would lead you to believe. I also know that I called LITTLE Maxasaurus for a while when he was a wee little tot. It just fit. That being said, I couldn't tell you a Megalosaurus (Great lizard!) from a Styracosaurus (spiked lizard!) I kinda blame this on my early schooling. I moved the summer between 6th and 7th grade. I think my old school learned that stuff after I left and I think my new school taught it before I got there. So I have no idea what the capitol of Vermont is. (Just kidding- I have google. So I can look it up) But this whole not knowing dinosaurs business is a problem. You see, I have two little boys and they are BIG time into the dinosaurs. I know they roar. Errr... Roared? At least I think they do/did. So while we play dinos I have mine hop around and I make him roar. (why did I assign a male sex to him? it could easily be a she-a-saurus! ugh- I'm a total pre-historic sexist) That's all I've got.
Someone- probably the pheasant gave the boys some dinosaur flashcards. (The pheasant loves a good set of flash cards!) The boys like to the pull the cards out. Study the pictures. And then, because they are 3.5 and 1.5 (or for those of you that like this kinda thing: 47 months & 18 months~ oy!) they like to RIP the box apart (my 18 mo then likes to eat said box- like a velociraptor!) - this then leads to a Gypsy style slip-n-fall : much like you'd see at a big box store. So as I picked up these hazardous dinosaur cards for the 12th time today I started to read the cards. Below is a list of interesting things I learned. Some factual from the actual cards and some of my ***NON-EXPERT*** observations. It should go without saying that I am not a dinosaur expert. So to all you folks who are- I am totally butchering this whole velociraptor thing and I apologize. Jeez- I'm opening myself up to you and there you go judging me again. Again- the below is my non-expertise dinosaur observations. (so the dino association of america doesn't get mat at me I will tell you my thoughts as well as the "facts.")
1. MommyOhhhh observation: There are three main types of dinosaurs.
A. Those that look like the T-rex.
B. Those that look like the triceratops.
C. And other. Other includes ones that are bird-ish in nature (both feathered and non-feathered), ones that look similar to turtles/tortoises (shit- I'm not turtle/tortoise expert either- I have no idea if those are two different animals or just two words: one fancier. What I can tell you is that spell check went crazy on this post y'all!)
So- let's talk about the T-rex family. Take a look at the picture. I think science is trying to trick us here people. These 8 dinos are all the same, no? Again, I'm no expert but they all look alike! If they aren't the same they are certainly cousins, SISTERS (see- not a sexistasaurs y'all!) and BFF's that look EXACTLY alike. So while the scientific community would probably argue with me- study the above flash card and see for yourself. Science has been proven wrong. Maybe I'm the one to expose the dinosaur inaccuracies... who knows? Just look and let me know what you think
A. Those that look like the T-rex.
B. Those that look like the triceratops.
C. And other. Other includes ones that are bird-ish in nature (both feathered and non-feathered), ones that look similar to turtles/tortoises (shit- I'm not turtle/tortoise expert either- I have no idea if those are two different animals or just two words: one fancier. What I can tell you is that spell check went crazy on this post y'all!)
So- let's talk about the T-rex family. Take a look at the picture. I think science is trying to trick us here people. These 8 dinos are all the same, no? Again, I'm no expert but they all look alike! If they aren't the same they are certainly cousins, SISTERS (see- not a sexistasaurs y'all!) and BFF's that look EXACTLY alike. So while the scientific community would probably argue with me- study the above flash card and see for yourself. Science has been proven wrong. Maybe I'm the one to expose the dinosaur inaccuracies... who knows? Just look and let me know what you think
MommyOhhhh observation B. The triciratops & those that look like a triceratops. These have the spiky head thorns y'all. Check out the pictures. Again- same logic as above- are we sure that these aren't all the same creature? I mean... look close. It will certainly make you wonder if science got it wrong again.
MommyOhhhh observation C. OTher. This category got really boring- so I decided to kinda blow it off because who cares about these? I do like a nice pair of tortoise shell glasses... but really- that had nothing to do with dinosaurs... or does it? Hmmmm...
2. Scientific fact y'all- There is a large number of dinosaurs that mean Something {fill in the blank} Lizard. We will start with the legit T-Rex: which translates toTyrant lizard king. If you didn't know that then you skipped my first paragraph and you should go back, put your tortoise shell glasses on and re-read it. This is a lesson y'all!
Spinosaurus- SPINY lizard
Kentrosaurus- spiked lizard
Ankylosaurus- Stiffened lizard
Pachyrinosaurus- Thick nosed lizard.
MommyOhhhh observation. The lizard is bad-ass with this kinda family tree. You should be nice to lizards and you should also keep a close eye on them.
3. "Fact"- Some can run 50 mph (strothiousaurus) . Ummmm... how do we know this? Were there dino races with clocked times for accuracy? And the winner is... the strothiousaurus! Wonder if SHE got a medal.
4. Fact- Some had scaly skin. (pre-historic = pre-lotion) This one I 100% believe.
MommyOhhhh observation C. OTher. This category got really boring- so I decided to kinda blow it off because who cares about these? I do like a nice pair of tortoise shell glasses... but really- that had nothing to do with dinosaurs... or does it? Hmmmm...
2. Scientific fact y'all- There is a large number of dinosaurs that mean Something {fill in the blank} Lizard. We will start with the legit T-Rex: which translates toTyrant lizard king. If you didn't know that then you skipped my first paragraph and you should go back, put your tortoise shell glasses on and re-read it. This is a lesson y'all!
Spinosaurus- SPINY lizard
Kentrosaurus- spiked lizard
Ankylosaurus- Stiffened lizard
Pachyrinosaurus- Thick nosed lizard.
MommyOhhhh observation. The lizard is bad-ass with this kinda family tree. You should be nice to lizards and you should also keep a close eye on them.
3. "Fact"- Some can run 50 mph (strothiousaurus) . Ummmm... how do we know this? Were there dino races with clocked times for accuracy? And the winner is... the strothiousaurus! Wonder if SHE got a medal.
4. Fact- Some had scaly skin. (pre-historic = pre-lotion) This one I 100% believe.
Here is the meat of the issue pretty people: What I have trouble believing is that dinosaurs are real and dragons are not. If that's true- and look for yourselves people, I am not trying to change public policy here- explain how the Carnotaurus pictured to the left LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE A DRAGON. BAM! Gotcha! Point for MommyOhhhh! Take that science- you are clearly talking to someone who knows some stuff. What I do know for certain is that I love saying Velociraptor- which means Swift thief. Kinda like a gypsy.
Hope you learned something today. Also, Please let me know if you are free for dinosaur inspired tutoring in about 5 years (or 60 months) when BIG will need help with his science homework.
Hope you learned something today. Also, Please let me know if you are free for dinosaur inspired tutoring in about 5 years (or 60 months) when BIG will need help with his science homework.
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