Not that I expect any of you to Kris-mas shop for me.  (Except you Chris)  And I certainly don't mean to sound ungrateful.  Let me just put it out there if you give me a gift- I don't care where it comes from.  Sure it would be nice if it came from the bank and was a bag of money.  A big, heavy, weighty bag.  But unfortunately none of you reading this are that rich or generous. (*note- find new rich & giving friends) 

I have compiled a list of a few things NOT to buy me - goodwill just happened to be the store I was in when I saw these items.  Nothing against goodwill- my mom gave me my favorite sweater from there- granted it kinda smelled like an old lady but after I washed it it's perfectly fine.  (And you fancy folks- don't judge.  You can try on a sweater at Neimans that smells of the old lady too) 

First up- Tiger plates.  Ummmm... One would think this might be a good gift for me.  I can see said gift giver saying "she likes to eat and she's an LSU tiger fan." Both true gentle reader.  But just look at them.  Do you want that guy staring at you while you are eating?  And the tiger strip on the edges would be very distracting.  It would be hard to plate like I was on top chef with this set.  So No.  

#2.  Someone's kid's old bad art.  I have two kids.  I will probably have some pretty bad art of my own soon.  But I tell you what- I will not send it to goodwill.  I will hold on to it, box it up and give it to them when they are old enough to hang art on the walls of their first house.  I would never donate our artistic treasures to goodwill.  

Side note- the price was $19.99 and the tag said "abstract painting".  Now clearly I'm no art historian but this doesn't look too abstract to me.  Two ducks clear as day.  Tag should have said Two ducks.  Maybe when I go back to work I should apply to be an art namer... Y'all remind me of that when the time comes.  

Now this... #3 is going to be tricky for those of you that know me well.  If we are extremely close you know that I love plastic, squishy grapes.  So it was somewhat shocking to see that someone just donated A FULL BAG OF PLASTIC GRAPES to goodwill.  What is wrong with that person?  Geesh.  

Now you might be saying- if you love plastic grapes why is this not a good gift?!  That is a great question to the 12 of you that read my blog.  (notice that's up from 9 last week?  I'm on a roll people! R. O.L. L!) Anywho- I digress (again) It's not a great gift for a few reasons.  I don't want to sound like a plastic grape snob but my plastic grapes have to be new.  And while goodwill thinks very highly of their grapes $7.99/bag, they aren't new.  I would want to share the squishy grape experience with my boys that I had.  My Busia (grandmother for those of you that don't speak Polish) had some at her house and they were AWESOME!  You need to be able to squish, bite, and overall manhandle plastic grapes to get the full experience.  

That being said you need fresh plastic grapes.  Not second hand- the I don't know who else squeezed them variety type.  So if that makes me a bad person, so be it.  

11/10/2013 06:47:20

I actually quite like the tiger plate...you can get it for me if you draw my name for kris-mas!

11/10/2013 07:44:48

And if you don't draw the pheasant's name I will also take the tiger plates. They will never sell them in MS or TN or wherever the heck you actually live. So should be a bargain.


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