This post took me awhile to write.  Not because it's super profound or a work of literary art a-la-the Illiad.  Nope- because it had a ton of self reflection and I couldn't quite figure out how to say what I'm about to say.  So I'm just going to say it.  Last week I failed as a mom.  Super hard to admit- but I did.  I let someone bully my child.  The scary part is- he was a bully in sheep's clothing dressed up as a grandpa.  Not my boys grandpa- they are both amazing and wonderful and would never do what this man did.  At first you might think- Oh, MommyOhhhh you are over reacting.  But I'm not.  And the more I think about it the more upset I get with myself for not standing up for BIG and for not speaking my mind.  

We were in the grocery store and both boys were being perfect angels.  It was the kinda day where the store had everything I needed on my list and the double shopping cart was keeping the boys entertained.  There was a couple that looked to be grand-parenty.  They were also in our way in every lane.  But I was in a great mood so it didn't bother me, but again we saw them in EVERY lane.  The wife smiled.  I said hello.  LITTLE WAVED and BIG gave her sweet eyes.  The curmudgeon husband didn't do much but fuss at his wife over the price of produce.  {{WE were at aldi, so you know that stuff is cheap!}} We finally broke free of them and I saw the man I will call Mr Meany walking toward us.  Not shocking because like I said early they were EVERYWHERE.  In my way at all turns.  So I wasn't shocked to see him yet again.  What shocked me was when he looked directly at BIG and said "Boy, what are you doing drinking out of the sippy cup you are 9 years old.  Your mama should know better."  I was so taken aback at what he said, I said nothing.  I just stopped walking and stared at him.  If you know me in real life you are probably shocked I didn't give him a piece of my mind.  I immediately gave him my mean look- but my brain was still trying to process what he said and I think he realized he was inappropriate and he scurried away.  For the next few minutes I thought of 2800 not so nice things I could have said back to him.  They were even two people in front of me in line- I thought about calling out to him and giving him a piece of my mind but I didn't want to cause a scene.  Looking back I should have. Maybe.  I'm still torn about what I should have done.  I know that I should have done something.  At least I think I should.  BIG is VERY BIG. So while he's 3 (4 next month- OMG, where did the time go?!?) he probably looks closer to 5 or 6.  But none of that is Mr Meanie's business.  If I want to give my 14 year old a sippy cup- I will.  [Doubt he'd take it- but I'm trying to make a dramatic point here pretty people] And who does he think he is to give his social commentary on anyone?  He's a bully.  He doesn't look like one, but he is one.  He didn't speak directly to me because he has no power over me, so he chose to spew his venom at my son.  That's how they do.  I'm prepared God forbid this ever happens again.  I will say something.  It won't be nice- but neither was what Mr Meanie said.  So.  I will probably go to Aldi tomorrow at 1 in case he's a creature of habit.  This time I will {quietly} dare him to speak to either of my boys.  And I will shame on him.  I think the best approach is a "shame on you."  I might even do a finger point.  Which LITTLE will then mimic and say no-no-no-no-nooooo.  So look out old man we are ready for battle. 

Anything like this ever happen to you my pretty people?  What did you do?  Please share your story. 

12/17/2013 03:10:51

That is just rude! Your boys will appreciate the lesson of you standing up for them. Bothers me how ppl make stuff their biz when it is clearly not. I once got yelled at for pkg in handicapped spot (with app tag) at 7 mos preg. I wanted to yell like a crazy person & say I was mentally handicapped but I didn't. I should've. Would've made me feel better.

12/17/2013 12:34:16

Dude that's absurd. I've been waiting on someone to say something to me for parking there. (I'm 22 and have to walk with a cane) All hell can and will break loose.

12/17/2013 12:46:31

When that happens, I can never think fast enough. Then, later I try and think of all the things I should have said. I have MS, and had people say some rude things. I am getting better at it now though.

12/17/2013 13:27:36

Lordy! I pity the next fool that speaks out of line! You are gonna wear them slap out! It's hard to process when someone who looks so innocent does/says something so rude and out of line. You're an excellent mom:)

12/19/2013 03:16:01

Next time tell Mr. Meany where you will stick that sippy cup. Then and only then will it be his problem. That man has no power over Big. Big knows his mommy will always be there to protect him.

12/19/2013 06:40:32

You know I think you reacted fine. Restraint in this day and age is seriously underrated. Honestly in my older age I'm trying to be more benefit-of-the-doubty because i feel, in this digital-information overload age, where we all have become so reactionary to every situation, we easily misconstrue each others intentions. Countless times I catch myself reading a thousand meanings into something that is usually so simple and innocent. Maybe he just thought you had some sweet little boys and was trying to make conversation with them & you but he is not very good with small talk. But I wasn't there so I don't know. So if Mr. Meanie was in fact bullying your sweet boy, then the best way to react to that type of person is to kill him with kindness. Because that kind of person is very immune to reactions of anger, but kindness is a foreign emotion and a unexpected response for him. So i say if you run into him again and he does it again, just say something like, "don't let his size fool you, he's big for his age." or "thanks for the suggestion, but we're doing just fine."...with smiles for added effect.


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